Home on the Range

This lady inspires me...I came across this article today when I was researching some information on lupus. The author, Stephanie Kennedy, was having a very bad weekend. She takes chemo on Sundays, so she knows she is confined to the house with her face super glued to the toilet seat. In her house, Sundays are known as ‘Barfdays’. So instead of hiding under the blankets, she decided to write on her blog. But she hit a mental roadblock, and as she put it, “Spoonies, as a whole, are frustrated more than the average person, but the inability to express myself just about drove me to give up and watch an episode of “The Kardashians.” That, my friends, is desperation at its finest.”

Then she thought, why try to be profound? Why try to be serious and touch the sensitivity in people? “Sometimes we Spoonies just need to laugh. We need something so silly and ridiculous that it takes our minds off of the pain. What better way to do that than in song?” Apparently, Stephanie’s friends actually pay her to NOT go out to karaoke night with them, but she does have the ability to take a known song, change all the words, and make it “snarktasically” hers.

So, for pure entertainment purposes, I give you Stephanie’s song that I suspect will be in your head for days to come. You’re welcome.

**Sung to the tune of Home On The Range. **

Oh give me a day,
Where I don’t have to pay,
Three days for five minutes of sun,
Where my hair doesn’t fall out,
And my life’s not about,
A pill bag that weighs half a ton.

Home, home yet again,
Where most of my time I do spend,
I can’t afford fun,
One dinner out and I’m done,
Cause my fingers, I can’t even bend.

I know you don’t understand,
It’s not something I planned,
Or just how plain crappy I feel,
I may not look sick,
No this isn’t a trick,
I assure you my illness is real.

Home, home yet again,
Where most of my time I do spend,
I can’t afford fun,
One dinner out and I’m done,
Cause my fingers, I can’t even bend.

This face I put on,
Doesn’t mean pain is all gone,
It’s just so that I won’t expose,
That the snores you do make,
While I lay wide awake,
Make me want to clothespin your nose.

Home, home yet again,
Where most of my time I do spend,
I can’t afford fun,
One dinner out and I’m done,
Cause my fingers, I can’t even bend.

Now my face is all rashed,
My day is all trashed,
My knees are as big as balloons,
All my muscles just ache,
No more can I take,
Just lost a whole week’s worth of spoons.

Home, home yet again,
Where most of my time I do spend,
I can’t afford fun,
One dinner out and I’m done,
Cause my fingers, I can’t even bend.

The next time you complain,
About some random pain,
Or the annoying cold that you caught,
To walk in your shoes,
Is what I would choose,
Be thankful for what you have got.